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You're Married! Now What?

Georgian Triangle Wedding Officiants

You have spent months, even years dreaming of your wedding day, planning every detail and investing countless hours into creating the most memorable day of your life. You have lost sleep, cried tears of joy and frustration, stressed over (and over) the budget, tried to please everyone while keeping true to yourself and then finally the big day has come… and gone. You’re Married! Now What?

Many couples experience, what I like to call “wedding planning hangover”. You’ve had the big party and now you are left feeling tired, unfocused, and wondering where to invest your energy once it returns. In the days and weeks following, you find yourself with time back in your life that had been consumed with everything wedding and now the real lifelong work begins. Creating a great marriage.

A great marriage takes a daily commitment. First, you need to define what is important in your relationship. What ‘commandments’ will you return to when things get hard? I recently listed to a podcast by Rachel Hollis and she spoke of this topic and it really hit home for me that every couple would benefit from writing down what is at the core of their happiness together. For my husband and I it is: Adventures Together, Riding Bikes, Working Hard on OUR goals, Date Nights. When we find ourselves not as connected as we would like to be, we can turn to our Relationship Commandments and re-focus on what keeps us strong as a couple.

Secondly, and most important, is Communication. Your spouse cannot be who you need them to be if you do not clearly articulate how you are feeling. Tell your spouse about your day, ask them about theirs. Ask how a situation made them feel, share how you are feeling. Explain why you are annoyed, frustrated, mad, sad, disappointed. We cannot be more supportive and compassionate spouses if we don’t understand what has caused our partner to be out of sorts. ASK. LISTEN. SEEK TO UNDERSTAND.

Lastly, a great marriage needs to involve having fun! Life can be hard. It is so much easier to get through the grind with a person who makes us laugh, understands our silly quirks and embraces the oddities that make us unique. When life gets a bit to serious plan a fun night out, a movie that will get you laughing, spend time with people who lift you up, go for a hike and embrace nature. Find the fun amidst the chaos.

We all want to have a happy and fulfilling marriage. Set out your Commandments, Communicate and have Fun. There are no guarantees in life but we all want to look back and know that we tried our best and that our success was born from dedication, love and commitment.

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